I'm staying in tonight and having scrounged around the office for DVDs have scooped Hitman and Lions For Lambs. Should I just read a book instead?Read More

So there I sat at 5am, bleary of eye and fuzzy of head, pondering. Nothing especially revelatory. But it does seem...Read More

Total Film editor Nev Pierce on the ups and downs of Oscars 2008. And crisps.Read More

It's the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational night in Hollywood. Yes, The Oscars are finally upon us and we're reporting as it happens via the magical interwebs...Read More

You know how you didn't bother to see The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford because the title was too long and it wasn't showing anywhere near you and it looked a bit ponderous and boring?Read More

The Razzies are almost upon us. But shouldn't they be doing more to crucify the worst in cinema? Here's a few suggestions... Read More

Liverpool FC get rewarded for a job well done in Europe. But will the winners at Oscar 2008 be as deserving?Read More

EVERYONE THAT IS READING THIS, CLICK ON MATT OLIVER (II) ON THE IMDBRead More

We’re aquiver at the thought of Indiana Jones, but it’s missing a crucial ingredient: the name’s Sean, Sir Sean…Read More

Dear Mr Spielberg and Mr Lucas,

I enjoyed your trailer for Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. I've done a little review of it, look...Read More

Following Wednesday’s abortion-themed blog, today I’d like to open a debate on which is the best religion….

….kidding. No, today I’m going to talk tat (no change there then, everyone cries).

Death Proof? Schmeath Proof. Planet Terror? Whatever. If you want a true, old-school grindhouse experience, watch the new Rambo. I have. It’s ace. It’s also rubbish. It’s ace rubbish, the kind of guilty pleasure that makes you want to walk straight from the stalls to the nearest confessional.

Don’t get me wrong – I lapped up the QT/RR sleaze-tribute project, both individually and as a double-bill. But it felt a bit… cosy. Playful. Affectionate. Knowing.

Rambo is none of these things. It’s exploitation in the dodgiest sense of the word, using real-life human horror (genocide in Burma) as a springboard for its cheap thrills. And they /are/ a bit cheap; where the Grindhouse movies betrayed the 70s shoestring ethos by utilising state-of-the-art CG, you can often see the joins in Rambo’s FX.

Death Proof and Planet Terror were both in on the joke; you laugh /at/ Rambo, not with it. Like the truest kitsch, the film’s camp as hell but doesn’t know it. Ok, there is some degree of self-awareness. As the Machete-esque trailer puts it, “You KNOW his name… You KNOW what he’s capable of!” Stallone KNOWS what his audience expects, and rubs their faces right in it, with all his crude, manipulative might.

The crowd I caught it with last week were the bloodthirstiest bunch I’ve ever seen in a cinema. (The hour of free boozing prior to the 9pm start might’ve had something to do with it…) They whooped every severed limb, cheered every exploding skull, went nuts whenever John J drew back his bow. When one of the bleeding-heart liberal pantywaists Rambo escorts up river mewled, “It’s never right to take a life”, someone down the front hollered back “Fuck you, asshole!” Like Stallone, that guy (was he from the Daily Mail?) was standing in a moral minefield, but he did kinda capture the disreputable, down-and-dirty, regret-it-in-the-morning spirit of the occasion. Pure grindhouse…

Pick up issue 139, on sale 21/02/08, to see more brand new images. But first, have a proper look at this one... Read More

This is about abortion. Read on if you're in the right frame of mind. Or come back later if you're not. Up to you. It's a pro-choice blog this. Read More

Hello. My name is Nev Pierce. Except it isn’t. Nev has taken a week’s holiday. So he’s asked me to write today’s blog entry. I’m Aubrey Day, Total Film’s Editor-in-Chief and, nominally, Nev’s boss (he's Total Film's Editor. You see? He has no "in-Chief" bit. That makes all the difference. Especially with the ladies...). Read More

Andy here. I had a fantasy movie moment on the Tube, this week...

Knotted little shortarse takes exception to my bloke-bag being ever so slightly in the way of his approach to the seat.

He stops and stands there, offering me a raised palm, vaguely gesturing towards the bag.

Not, "Can you move your bag, please, mate?" Just this camp, self-important, ever-so put-out, "A-HEM!"

I make a petulant point of shifting the bag reeeally slowly.

"Thank you!" he says, sarcastically.

"No. Problem..." I say, extra-sarcastically.Read More